Why Do I Deserve This?

Posted by | January 17, 2014 | Bullying | One Comment

Everything hurts. My “friends” say jokes about me and tell me to shut up I hate my life! I just want the pain to go away! I want people to care and listen! Everything was easier when I lived in another state. I want the labels to stop controlling me. The jokes the names I try to shut them out, but I’m just making my self miserable.

I do have two friends but next year they are going to high school and even now I feel like an outsider alone, sad, miserable. Why? Why won’t it end? What did I do to deserve this? Was it they way I look? My grades are dropping and I feel like everything I do and say are just empty like I have no reason to live. Why do I deserve this someone tell me why​

One Comment

  • admin says:

    We are glad that you reached out today and we are sorry that you are in so much pain. We are also concerned that you feel that you have no reason to live. Please promise yourself that you will reach out if you feel that you are going to hurt yourself. Talk to your parents, a school counselor, other family members, or call 911 if you feel that you cannot keep yourself safe.

    It is also important to identify healthy activities that you can use as an alternative to hurting yourself. Some people enjoy journaling, listening to music, exercising, talking to friends, or doing artwork. Try to identify what things you can do in order to help you stay safe. Also attached is a link to 99 coping skills that you may find helpful http://www.bing.com/search?q=99+coping+skills&src=IE-SearchBox&Form=IE8SRC.

    You indicate that your “friends” are unkind to you. It sounds like you are being bullied. No one deserves to be bullied, and you need to get an adult involved so that the bullying stops immediately. Talk to your parents about the bullying. You should also talk to your school counselor and get her help and support to report the bullying. Be as specific as possible. Include the dates, times, people involved (including bystanders). Keep a written record of this as well. Report each and every incident to the school administration. If they do not follow up go to the school board. Most schools have policies against bullying. Ask for the school policy on bullying.

    Unfortunately you cannot change the other people’s behavior, but you can change your reaction to the person. In order to combat this bully, try pulling up all of the courage and self-confidence that you can. If someone says nasty things to you, just don’t react. Think of some responses such as “okay” or “I’m working on that.” If you don’t have any sort of emotional reaction, they won’t think it is as fun to say hurtful things to you. You can also walk away and ignore her. Again, don’t show any emotion. If you are in a situation where you can’t walk away, such as during class, ask to move seats. Try as much as possible to stay clear of these people.

    In addition to staying away from these people try to develop new friends. Join clubs in school. Seek out other students that you have things in common and establish new friendships with people who treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

    Also remember that what people say is not a true reflection of who you are as a person. Surround yourself with positive people and tell yourself that you are a good person. You might even write down a list of positive attributes about you, and read this list to yourself when people say unkind things to you.

    Please get the help that you need and deserve. You are not alone. Take care.

    Nancy, crisis counselor

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