Verbally Abused My Whole Life

Posted by | July 24, 2014 | Abuse | One Comment

I’ve been verbally abused my whole life. I’ve just started talking back and arguing back with both my parents. I don’t agree with anything they say. I understand they care about me and they do put a roof over my head but sometimes I wish they would back off. I feel so suffocated. They want me to live the life they wished they could have lived. I do appreciate everything they do for me. I just don’t appreciate being called names and being talked down on. I don’t like the fact that they won’t let me be happy with who I am as a person. I just wish I could find some way to be happy again.

One Comment

  • BYS Counselor says:

    We are so glad that you reached out today, and are very sorry to hear that your parents are being verbally abusive to you. Make sure that if you do not feel safe that you call 911 or your local Child Protective Services. Verbal abuse is a form of child abuse. However, authorities would have to make the determination whether what they say meets the legal definition of abuse.

    One option to try to stop this verbal abuse is to sit down with your parents and let them know how their comments make you feel. Do this at a time when everything is calm, and try to remain as unemotional as possible. Try not to be accusatory; just state how their words make you feel.

    You can also write your parents a letter and let them know how hurtful their words are to you. Hopefully this will help, but you also have to be prepared for a negative response. If they do not give you the response that you want and deserve, then you should develop some additional coping skills to deal with the situation.

    It is important to surround yourself with people who are positive and supportive. Are there any relatives that live near you that can provide you with emotional support? Also, is there a teacher or a school counselor, or a close friend that you can talk to? You need those support systems around you when your parents are unkind to you.

    Please understand that just because your parents call you hurtful names doesn’t mean that you are those names. Emotional abuse can be as hurtful as physical abuse. Unfortunately, you cannot control your parent’s behavior. But you can control how you deal with their unkind words.

    Try to evaluate situations when your parent starts saying derogatory things to you. Are there any steps that you can take to avoid those situations? One possibility is to remove yourself so that you do not have to hear hurtful words. Don’t be rude, but go outside or to another room in the house.

    Every time your mom or dad says something hurtful to you try telling yourself something positive about you. Make a list that describes all of your positive attributes. Don’t forget to add to this list from time to time. Bring this list out and read it to yourself when they say something negative. Aside from developing a “What’s Great about Me” list, try to identify types of activities that make you happy. Engage in these activities when they are being verbally abusive to you.

    If you would like to talk more about this issue, crisis counselors are available, 24/7, at 1-800-448-3000. You can also chat or text with one of our counselors: Text us: (206) 707-6388. Call us: (206) 842-9675

    Please let us know how you are doing. You are not alone. Take care.

    BYS Counselor

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