Problems With My So Called “Friends”

Posted by | July 22, 2014 | Bullying | One Comment

Hey Guys. I am having some trouble with my so called “friends”. All this year i have been friends to certain people but they have just been playing me this entire time. They know some of my secrets and they don’t like me. 1 of them went off on me and said i was embarrassing and stuff. I am scared they will tell lies about me and keep seriously bullying me. They don’t care about me at all and i don’t know what to do. Advise?

One Comment

  • BYS Counselor says:

    We are so glad that you reached out and are sorry that you are having such a difficult time with your friends. Even though they have been friends in the past, they do not appear to be true friends. A friend is someone who you can trust with secrets, and who will not betray you. A friend also doesn’t say mean things to you. If you feel that their behavior becomes repeatedly negative, and they actually spread lies about you, then this would constitute bullying.

    No one deserves to be bullied, and if their behavior continues or get worse, you need to get an adult involved so that the bullying stops immediately. Talk to your parents about the bullying. If you are still in school then talk to your school counselor and get his/her help and support to report the bullying. Be as specific as possible. Include the dates, times, people involved (including bystanders). Keep a written record of this as well. Report each and every incident to the school administration. If they do not follow up go to the school board. Most schools have policies against bullying. Ask for the school policy on bullying. There are two good websites that you may want to check out. They are http://www.stopbullying.gov/get-help-now/index.html and http://www.adl.org/education.

    Unfortunately you cannot change the other people’s behavior, but you can change your reaction to the person. In order to combat this bully, try pulling up all of the courage and self-confidence that you can. If someone says nasty things to you, just don’t react. Think of some responses such as “okay” or “I’m working on that.” If you don’t have any sort of emotional reaction, they won’t think it is as fun to say hurtful things to you. You can also walk away and ignore her. Again, don’t show any emotion. If you are in a situation where you can’t walk away, such as during class, ask to move seats. Try as much as possible to stay clear of these people.

    Also remember that what people say is not a true reflection of who you are as a person. Surround yourself with positive people and tell yourself that you are a good person. You might even write down a list of positive attributes about you, and read this list to yourself when you are being bullied.

    We encourage you to look for other people who can be true friends. Don’t waste your time on people who are playing on being your friends. Join activities this summer to find new friends, or look to developing friendships with people you already know and have things in common with.

    If you would like to talk more about this issue, a counselor is available, 24/7, at the Boys Town National Hotline 1-800-448-3000. You can also chat or text with one of our counselors: Text us: (206) 707-6388.
    Call us: (206) 842-9675.

    Please let us know how you are doing. You are not alone. Take care.

    BYS Counselor

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