By Kerri Shoumaker, LSWAIC
BYS Therapist
Anxiety is now the leading mental health problem worldwide. Psychology Today (2024) states that it affects one in eight children. Most of us have experienced a racing heart, a queasy stomach, or a feeling of dread for an upcoming event. This normal response prepares the body and mind to be alert and take action. It has kept the human species alive for millions of years. However, if this feeling of continuous doom and ill physiological symptoms starts interfering with daily life, it may be anxiety.
Possible causes of anxiety in children are issues with friends, changes at home, exams, feeling pressure to succeed, or bullying. Additionally, there’s a lot of world turmoil and excess stimulation through social media. Both can lead to stress, which is a significant contributor to anxiety.
In kids, anxiety may express itself a little differently.
Here’s what to look for:
- They may be tense, sensitive, grouchy, or have emotional outbursts.
- They may try to avoid situations (not wanting to go to school).
- They may have difficulty concentrating.
- They may have difficulty making decisions.
- Physically, they may complain of upset stomachs, headaches, an inability to sleep, shortness of breath, or panic attacks.
- Teens may exhibit withdrawal from friends and social activities. They may also express constant worries about their daily routines.
What can parents do if their child is exhibiting these symptoms?
First, take a deep breath and release the notion that it’s your fault or have done something wrong as a parent. Remember, anxiety is not bad; it is a built-in emotion that allows us to recognize if danger is present and decide if we need to act.
Here are some tips:
- Remain calm and get a handle on your anxiety. Children look to their parents to model their behavior. If your child sees alarm and worry, they become alarmed and worried.
- Acknowledge the anxiety and talk about it. Use active listening and validate their feelings. “Having to give that presentation in front of the class seems scary. Let’s make time so you can practice. I believe in you!”
- Empower them. Hovering over them to protect them from what they’re anxious about is a natural response, but this can lead to avoidance. Help your child recognize the difference between anxiety, cautioning them not to walk near the edge of a cliff (danger), and anxiety, cautioning them about giving a presentation (discomfort). Empower them to believe in themselves and their ability to do hard things.
- Build their coping skills. Talk about how to handle challenges. Discuss keeping thoughts in perspective. Introduce mindfulness and progressive muscle relaxation or breathing exercises to help them focus on the present. Encourage them to volunteer or practice self-care.
- Build their self-confidence and resilience. Draw attention to their strengths. Highlight the tough work they’re putting in to help them value their effort and not just the outcome. Reframe shortfalls as opportunities to try something different. Help manage expectations so that their goals align with their abilities.
Providing comfort and support is beneficial. However, if your child’s anxiety is not responding to the above tips, it may be time to seek professional counseling and consult with a medical doctor for medication information.
