Real Stories.

Questions and responses submitted by local youth and couselors. You are not alone.


Feeling Worse – How to Get Help

Posted by | Family, Feelings, Relationships, Suicide | One Comment

I’ve emailed here many, many times. I am now on anti-depressants that are supposed to, duh, help with depression but also my anxiety. The issue is that I am still feeling like crap. If anything I feel worse. I’ve been thinking of suicide so much; nearly every day, sometimes multiple times in a day. Same with cutting. I haven’t cut for almost a week but I don’t know how long that will hold. I’ve also recently realized I have anorexia. I always stop myself from eating because I’m so fat. I just feel like I can’t do it anymore.

My best friend has attempted suicide twice recently and I’m so scared of losing her. I know that if she attempts again she will probably succeed and if she does, I’m going too. I can’t be without her. My entire family treats me like crap. My mom and dad always yell at me for everything I do. Anything I’m doing, they can always find something wrong with it. My brothers both make me want to kill myself. They point out all of my flaws.

I only have a few friends I can really depend on. The problem with always being the one my friends come to with problems, though, is that they’re so negative and even when I’m trying to pull myself out of the black hole I’m in their problems suck me back down because I feel like I have to be there for them and I have to help them somehow.
I have a therapist and she’s very nice but I feel like with how well I know her I can’t really open up to her as easily. Even though it should be easier to open up to someone you know, it feels easier for me to open up to a complete stranger and know they won’t tell anyone.

Tips for Suicidal Thoughts

Posted by | Bullying, Feelings, Relationships, School, Suicide | One Comment
I have been dealing with depression for a very long time. I’ve been bullied by groups and individuals since I knew what bullying was. The bullying has mostly stopped this year, but the drama within my friend group is getting to the point where it’s kind of bullying, too. I have self-harmed and constantly have thoughts of self-harm, but I have managed to stay clean for a while, so that isn’t my largest concern at the moment.
I scare myself the amount I think about suicide. I tell myself that I would never commit suicide because of the effect it would leave on the people I care about, but I don’t always know if that’s true. I often think about how I would go through with it, but never when, where, or why.
I also deal with severe ADD/ADHD and bad social anxiety and panic attacks. I can never focus on my assignments or homework. I get nervous when in groups and have very bad panic attacks. Any tips would be so very greatly appreciated. Thank you so much. 🙂

Need Someone To Help Me

Posted by | Suicide, Uncategorized | One Comment

I feel horrible. Im depressed all the time. And all I want to do is cut. I think about suicide alot. Music doesn’t help anymore. I feel so alone. My boyfriend just left too, he made it seem like everything was ok even when things were falling apart. now I dont have him anymore and things are even worse. I skip school as much as possible and all I want to do is sleep. I get bullied alot, and my mom treats Me like crap. I just want to end it all. Theres so many things happening. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I need someone to talk to, I need someone to help me..

Broken and Fragile

Posted by | Feelings, Suicide | One Comment

Hi, i’m a girl who is insecure. I cut myself and told a friend they told me to stop so I did. But then I started to have problems again so I started cutting. I liked this boy but he did not like me back he started to ignore me and avoided me. I then decided that I don’t like him any more. I started to have thoughts of suicide and was about to stab myself in the heart with a knife but something stopped me. My mom is so mean to me and I know she doesn’t love me so I try to block her out but it does not work. She is always pointing out my flaws and telling me that i’m not smart. One boy who is me “friend” hits me and I don’t do anything because I know if I hit back I wont be able to stop due to all the anger inside. I am planning to run away from home and leave all my problems behind but I don’t know were to go. I was thinking about overdosing on pills and I will once i’m done with 7th grade. Please help me because i’m broken,fragile and needs someone to listen.

Please Help Me

Posted by | Suicide | One Comment

I’m having suicidal thoughts. I want to talk to somebody but don’t want to call a hotline or anything because I’m afraid of my parents finding out. I think they will make me go to a counselor or something if they do. I’m having suicidal thoughts because my grades are very low and my parents act like they are proud of my brothers and sisters but they don’t act like they are proud of me. I understand that they don’t really have a reason to be proud of me with my grades being so bad but it’s too obvious not to notice. I’m afraid that if I did commit suicide it would put one of my family members in depression leading to them killing themselves. Which is holding me back from committing it. Please help me.

Keeping My Head Above Water

Posted by | Suicide | One Comment

Lately I have been having some less-than-pleasant thoughts. Dying sounds right to me, not rushed, just feels right. I would have called the hotline but the walls around my house are paper-thin, and I could not go for anyone snooping on me. I am registered with a website called “reachout” and they recommended me to this website/hotline. Other generalized issues add up to how I feel, such as self harm and problems with food. I am here because I felt the need to expend all my options before I commit to anything, because if I go through with this then I want my family to know I tried everything, that there was nothing they could do. I really just want it to end.

But I want my family to know it’s for the best. I’m not making a rash decision, I’ve giving it plenty of thought. I want to die but I care about them, and I don’t want them to feel the same way I have after I’m gone, which is the sole thought keeping me here. Right now I don’t know which is more important to me, my death or their lives (yea it selfish but I can’t help it–why I feel so guilty). I have refrained for a couple days now from doing anything but I can feel myself shortening my patience. I know I need to talk to someone and I should but I just want to DIE!

There is one friend that has hung on and won’t let go, and it’s because of her I’m going to see someone, but I don’t think it’ll come soon enough, and I’m worried I won’t be able to hold on for so long. I would also tell my mom but I cannot bare the look on her face. The thought both keeps me alive for protecting my family, and encourages me to die as I become swamped in guilt. This is my last option, and though I’m not really keen on writing this email, I am, and I found it’s so much easier to die than to write this, but I’m here for a final chance. I’m writing this for my family, but they need to see that I just need to move on. The guilt is causing so much pain, and the thought of dying is ever-tempting. I just want to let go.

I also realize that this is an email and responses probably will take a while, so I will try my hardest with patience (mostly because of school), but I’m barely keeping my head above water, and I’m just so ready to die. The most I can hope for is to go to sleep as soon as I can and go to school tomorrow so I won’t be as tempted, but after that I’m not sure. (If I hesitate to respond that is why) Sorry this was a rant and super long. Thanks for your time.

What Do I Have To Live For

Posted by | Suicide | One Comment

My issue is that I’m depressed. I haven’t seen a doctor yet because I’m too scared to tell my parents. I know that they won’t believe me. Three months ago I did my exams and when I got my results, I was devastated I failed this has caused me to cry all the time and just feel sad all the time.

I don’t know who to talk to I’m too sad. This started way before my exams. I have thought of suicide repeatedly or I just feel like I’m not needed in this world because there is nothing that I can do or that I can achieve. My parents keep on saying that I’m fat and I’ve lost almost all my friends this year. What do I really have to live for. ​

Can’t Find Peace

Posted by | Suicide | One Comment
I am depressed and no one can see it. Especially not my parents. I’ve emailed here before, many times… To be honest. I stopped responding to the counselors that continually emailed me because they anonymously called my school, told them I was in danger, and they took me out of class and told my parents. Maybe that wasn’t from this site, but, I’m going to be more careful this time. Anyways… I cant seem to find peace.. The only peace I find is in the thoughts that involve my death. The only happiness I get is when I have dreams.. Where I watch myself die.
I have tried many things to cope, I have talked to a counselor, they don’t help. I tried exercising, talking to someone I trust, writing in a journal, drawing, music, self-harming, I have tried everything. But these demons keep attacking me from every angle. I even created a website to help other teens who may feel like I do, but even then, that doesn’t seem to help me. I know I am depressed, I know I have clinical depression.. My parents just refuse to believe me. They refuse to admit their daughter is broken. I’m sad all the time, I have no energy to do anything, I hate going to sleep…
Because I know I will wake up, I’m seeing things that aren’t there, I used to love to sing, but now.. I cant stand it. I snap at everyone, even if its because the silliest things. I just want to be done. All I can think about is death, about killing myself. I cant breathe. I’m scared of myself. I’m scared of being alone. But at the same time, I want to kill myself. I want to end all this pain. I want to feel the life drain out of my body. I want to just be done. I know suicide is selfish; I don’t care anymore. I want to die.
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