Can’t Stand To See My Parents Like This

Posted by | August 13, 2014 | Family | One Comment

Hi, Im 15 years old and my parents have been fighting for a while now. Its nothing physical, just verbal. And my dad does things that makes no sense and makes my mom very upset. Like just an hour ago, my dad went through my moms purse and cut up her work credit cards. And he has changed the passwords to apple ID accounts for the family. He has hacked into and looked at her emails and texts. He used to just have a few beers here and there but he lost his job around 3 months ago and his drinking had become more prevalent. He never hurts anyone or anything but i cant stand to see my parents like this. Its not only affecting them, its affecting me and my two younger brothers as well. They dont want mom and dad to get divorced. And apparently this has been going on for years about something (i dont know what) but now its becoming a bigger problem. I dont know what to do, what i used to think was a happy marriage and family is quickly falling apart. I dont want to make a big deal out of it and try to control their marriage. But i need to tell someone, and i need advice.

One Comment

  • BYS Counselor says:

    We are really glad that you are reaching out and talking about what is frustrating you. A marriage is between two people that are committed to one another and it sounds like your parents are having a difficult time. Even though we know their relationship is between those two, it impacts the children that come from that relationship and anyone else they choose to get involved.

    This is a tough situation because you may not know why your dad is hacking into accounts and cutting up cards but it sounds like he is either completely frustrated with something or dealing with something that has gotten him extremely angry. Maybe divorce isn’t even an option for your parents and they will work this out. Since this is so upsetting for you, it might be a good idea to talk with one of them about what you know or what you are feeling about this. It isn’t your business, the details anyway, but the arguing and such has been impacting your feelings and life and you need to talk with them about this.

    If your parents aren’t available to talk with, is there another family member like a grandparent or aunt or uncle or even close friend that will talk with you? You need support and help in making sense of this whole situation. Let someone who is close to you into your world so that they can help you. It is way too big for you to handle by yourself.

    In the meantime, use the best and healthiest coping skills to help you when you feel frustrated, scared, angry or sad. Here is a list of 99 skills to use. We hope you can find at least 10 that are best for you.
    http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/DiscoverIt/Articles/Pages/99-Coping-Skills.aspx

    Take care,
    BYS Counselor

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