by Dana Martin, LMHCA
BYS Therapist
Earlier today, I found myself thinking about a recent social media post I had made and felt the urge to check and see how many likes it had gotten. I laughed at myself when I remembered this article I was preparing to write about teens and social media use. Here I am, a mental health counselor who talks to their clients frequently about the damage social media can cause, falling victim to the same trap.
I stopped and asked myself a series of questions – why did I feel that checking the likes on my post was important? What was I hoping to gain from this action? It felt like a sudden need for approval and admiration, a wanting for some reassurance that I am doing a good job and things in my life look a certain way.
Why all the self-reflection? Because this first step is crucial in talking to our children about social media. Without it, evaluating our children’s use and relationship to social media and putting everything about social media into the “bad” category is easy. While it is true that social media often causes more harm than good, it is also true that it is a present and powerful force in all of our lives.
When we take the time to examine our own social media use, we can listen to our children from a place of empathy and understanding rather than from fear, criticism, and judgment. Conversations can start by asking, why do people post? What is it we are hoping to gain? Exploring questions together can begin to poke holes in the “perfect” images and well-curated lives we see on these platforms.
Before we can have an honest and helpful conversation with our children about social media, it would benefit us all to pause and think about where we are in our relationship with it. Are we willing to be open and honest with ourselves? You can be a safe place for your child to figure out how to navigate social media. Welcome discomfort and uncertainty, and stay curious about where the conversation will go.