Real Stories.

Questions and responses submitted by local youth and couselors. You are not alone.

2014 January

Really Tough Time

Posted by | Drugs & Alcohol | One Comment

Hi, I am going through a really tough time in my life. My parents just divorced and I started smoking heroin almost every day. I cannot stop but it helps me forget all the problems I have. I think my girlfriend knows about it but it’s tough to talk to her because I am so ashamed.

I just don’t know what to do, I want to end it all, I feel like the world would be better off and my parents will get back together if I am gone because I made them divorce. I don’t know what to do. ​

Just Stop Caring

Posted by | Drugs & Alcohol | One Comment

My dad is a heroin addict. I haven’t seen him in over 5 years and I miss him very much. My mom doesn’t have contact with him and I don’t know anyone who does. All I want is to see him but I can’t. He knows where I live and has my phone number but doesn’t call. That’s what I don’t understand. I don’t understand why he doesn’t call or visit me.

It makes me feel unloved. I worry every day of my life about him because I know heroin is a dangerous drug. I have no way to know if he is ok or not and that stresses me out. Sometimes I think I should just stop caring but I can’t.

Caught Bullying

Posted by | Bullying | One Comment

I bully my friends who are younger than me. I force them to bring me money. Once I also indulged in a theft case. luckily I was given a excuse by my teachers, shopkeepers and the parents. I was given a last excuse by the school authority for violating school rules such as bullying, stealing and beating fellow friends.

Recently I was caught bullying my younger class friends by the friend’s parents, and I am afraid they might complain to the school authority. What can I do to stop these bad habits?

Can’t Find Peace

Posted by | Suicide | One Comment
I am depressed and no one can see it. Especially not my parents. I’ve emailed here before, many times… To be honest. I stopped responding to the counselors that continually emailed me because they anonymously called my school, told them I was in danger, and they took me out of class and told my parents. Maybe that wasn’t from this site, but, I’m going to be more careful this time. Anyways… I cant seem to find peace.. The only peace I find is in the thoughts that involve my death. The only happiness I get is when I have dreams.. Where I watch myself die.
I have tried many things to cope, I have talked to a counselor, they don’t help. I tried exercising, talking to someone I trust, writing in a journal, drawing, music, self-harming, I have tried everything. But these demons keep attacking me from every angle. I even created a website to help other teens who may feel like I do, but even then, that doesn’t seem to help me. I know I am depressed, I know I have clinical depression.. My parents just refuse to believe me. They refuse to admit their daughter is broken. I’m sad all the time, I have no energy to do anything, I hate going to sleep…
Because I know I will wake up, I’m seeing things that aren’t there, I used to love to sing, but now.. I cant stand it. I snap at everyone, even if its because the silliest things. I just want to be done. All I can think about is death, about killing myself. I cant breathe. I’m scared of myself. I’m scared of being alone. But at the same time, I want to kill myself. I want to end all this pain. I want to feel the life drain out of my body. I want to just be done. I know suicide is selfish; I don’t care anymore. I want to die.

Why Do I Deserve This?

Posted by | Bullying | One Comment

Everything hurts. My “friends” say jokes about me and tell me to shut up I hate my life! I just want the pain to go away! I want people to care and listen! Everything was easier when I lived in another state. I want the labels to stop controlling me. The jokes the names I try to shut them out, but I’m just making my self miserable.

I do have two friends but next year they are going to high school and even now I feel like an outsider alone, sad, miserable. Why? Why won’t it end? What did I do to deserve this? Was it they way I look? My grades are dropping and I feel like everything I do and say are just empty like I have no reason to live. Why do I deserve this someone tell me why​

Everybody Makes Fun Of Me

Posted by | Bullying | One Comment

Hi. My brother along with other kids at school keep being really mean to me lately. My sister also does it. They always laugh at me and call me fat and that I’m ugly and make fun of how my hair looks. It really hurts my feelings. I always see them laughing and pointing at me and I always end up crying. At home my brother and sister always say it around their friends who laugh and find more mean things to say about me. I really don’t see what the point of my life is.

I have no friends and I’m just going to end up getting no where in life. My parents only care about my sister and always get her so many clothes, meanwhile I literally am stuck wearing the same outfit 3 times a week. Now all of my clothes have holes in them but they don’t really care so my grandma always helps me a shirt whenever she can.

I’m just so stressed about everything now and my grades are starting to fail so I don’t even know if I will be able to pass the grade. I really don’t know what to do anymore. ​

I Would Not Have Marks

Posted by | Abuse | One Comment

Whenever my mom and I fight my mom hits me. Things have been good ever since school started four weeks ago. We’ve hardly fought at all. She’s been going to counseling, because I refuse to go and she says that one of us has to. I don’t want to go to counseling because she has forced me to talk to so many counselors that I’ve grown to really dislike them. She’s not hit me much since she started counseling, but today she blew up. I think she was frustrated because she didn’t really want to go to work, and I can understand that because I sometimes feel that way about school.

Whenever we fight she yells at me, calls me names, swears at me, threatens me, mocks me, and hits me. She tells me that she wishes she lived alone and that she could send me somewhere. Today when she hit me, I suddenly felt like I wanted to hit back. I was angry. I didn’t want to stand there and take it. She yelled at me not to hit her, but I don’t think it makes sense that she can hit me, but I can’t defend myself. She also sent a policeman to our apartment after she went to work.

She’s threatened to ask for welfare checks before, but never actually done it, until today. It really scared me. A while ago, during a fight, I told her that hitting is physical abuse, but she said that it’s not and that I’ve never been abused. A few weeks ago we had a fight and I pointed out that she left red marks on my arms.

She asked me whose fault that was, and I told her that she’s the one who hit me. She said, “Who brought it on?” and hit me some more. Every time I think of the times she’s hit me, I feel really miserable. I’m genuinely wondering if it’s really my fault. Is it abuse? Am I responsible? It’s really frustrating. I don’t want to go to counseling, like I said before. I’d rather talk to her instead of being shoved in someone else’s face like my mom doesn’t want to try to deal with me.

I also wonder if she feels and remorse after she hurts me. Before school started, we were out in public and she noticed she left scratches and bruises on my arms. She was really nervous and wanted me to come up with a story. I thought, “If you didn’t hit me I wouldn’t have these marks.”

Opening Up About My Anxiety

Posted by | Feelings | One Comment

I think I may have an anxiety disorder. I am constantly worried and nervous. My own voice inside my head never stops, and it’s usually negative things. My mom is super supportive and I love her a lot, but I’m still really scared to tell her that I think I have this disorder.

I want to try and get help, but I don’t know how to tell her that I want to see a psychologist. I think I’m scared of what is gonna happen when I do tell, and that things will change. Honestly, opening up about my anxiety is making me even more anxious. Any advice for how I should tell her? ​

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